Who is the Queen of Spades?

"Traditionally, the Queen of Spades represents an ambitious, skillful, intelligent woman.  In the reversed position, or surrounded by unfavorable cards, she becomes clever, conniving and plotting."

I'm not the queen of Spades. 

I'm simply me.

I'm a girl. I am a trophy child, a prized robot, programmed to be perfect and poised in the presence of others.

I'm calculating and deceptive, a master at pretending and quite manipulative. Detached and conniving, clever and plotting. 

But I'm a girl. Despite what was said above, I still feel, and I still love. I have friends, although limited, and they're like my very own almost-functional family. I have my dreams, although too far from reality, and they're all I have to hold on to.

I don't need anyone else but my friends, and myself.

So maybe...

after all...

I'm the Queen of Spades